My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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