ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize