Insert tab A into swedish slot B
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old