I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
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Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.