hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Banned from zoo.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it