You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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