Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

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(650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4

Replies (31) Good night (6322) Bad night (2168)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.

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(814): MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished. http://tfl.nu/8mqg

Replies (36) Good night (5852) Bad night (1066)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

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(617): he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home. http://tfl.nu/gpi6

Replies (32) Good night (8435) Bad night (1493)
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(315): View more from New York

My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.

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(315): My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best. http://tfl.nu/ofn0

Replies (32) Good night (6547) Bad night (986)
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(850): View more from Florida

I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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(850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg

Replies (16) Good night (5350) Bad night (1145)
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(817): View more from Texas

Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

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(817): Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment. http://tfl.nu/9yfj

Replies (4) Good night (1068) Bad night (2447)
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(206): View more from Washington

I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.

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(206): I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/t4ey

Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (3120)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?

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(865): Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right? http://tfl.nu/ddd7

Replies (10) Good night (1231) Bad night (2315)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.

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(774): I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded. http://tfl.nu/9sgj

Replies (7) Good night (1603) Bad night (805)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.

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(610): One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings... (610): And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually. http://tfl.nu/lwux

Replies (3) Good night (1524) Bad night (480)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan

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(717): I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan http://tfl.nu/f98a

Replies (14) Good night (2257) Bad night (830)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit

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(815): I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit http://tfl.nu/a7ne

Replies (13) Good night (985) Bad night (599)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.

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(919): so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow... (1-919): I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that. http://tfl.nu/ee0c

Replies (0) Good night (1923) Bad night (553)
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(718): View more from New York

I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.

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(718): I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best. http://tfl.nu/yss2

Replies (5) Good night (1076) Bad night (464)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?

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(413): Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later? http://tfl.nu/klxq

Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (301)

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