I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?