yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess