I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
