I hate your face
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
