I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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