no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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