You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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