last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I hope mine doesn't look like that
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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