I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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