I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
