But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he thought i was a dude.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
