Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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