This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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