Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
