can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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