Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
