i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
