I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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