She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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