I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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