there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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