I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize