yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
