Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize