I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
