It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
