Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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