quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
