I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
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I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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