It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
