Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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