i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize