these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
