just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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