i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
