So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
