i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
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There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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