she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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