This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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