Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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