I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
