Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
