I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
