...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
