I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
