i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i out mim tonsoeep
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
