he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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