Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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