True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
His hands were made for my vagina.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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