I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
