if you like me you must not know who I am
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
