I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Alive.
So much puke
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
