seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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