I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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