can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
