I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
