I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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