Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize